I'll Seize The Day Tomorrow

Dear Jonathan,
I want to write like you.  But I also want to be happy...

But, Jonathan says he is happy (to a certain degree). 

Dear Jonathan,
I want to write like you.  But...

I'm afraid I'd be too sad?  Or is the right word melancholy?  The latter I can handle and enjoy for short periods, but certainly not for long stretches... like a whole year -- which is the period chronicled in Jonathan Goldstein's latest book, _I'll Seize The Day Tomorrow_.

I'd read the book quickly to find out what happens (there are entries a few times a week with short stories - familiar from Wiretap - between weeks) and then again slowy to savour the words.  Turning forty seems to be a pretty big milestone, so it makes sense for him to choose the time between his 39th and 40th birthday.  I'm not there yet, but I found myself nodding and empathising with his thoughts on loneliness and aging...

Now, that I've finished reading it (twice), I still pull the book, flipping through passages to find the words to express what I'm feeling (since I can't seem to do it quite so beautifully, absurdly, or precisely).  I should start an index*.

I'm glad he didn't take Gregor's advice to "pack it with sex" and "nudity", instead writing on the weight of worry, moments of whimsy, moments to savour, the joys of melba toast... which if not all very deep are certainly very thoughtful.  But this is me, others may very well have wished for it to have gone the other way... but likely that without Jonathan in it. 

Hm... I can't decide if I'd be happier or sadder if I knew (found out) it was all fictional.

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* Like this:

- On wearing shirts backwards p. 157
- On being fat p. 73
- Weight and worry p. 135
- Love and shopping p. 104
- The importance of appearance / personal hygiene p. 46
- On saving stuff (things) p. 166-168
- On avoidance and sharks p. 152-153
- How lucky I am not to have a friends like Gregor p. 223-224
- Sadness and beards p. 195