She's a witch!

 Sarah Andersen gets a hat trick this week. 

December 1: 

The Closet (A) = The Toy Box 

He (B) = James 

I (C) = Emma 

[Though, also, where (B) is me, and (C) is the both of them, and (A) is every dang thing in the house! Ack stop touching things!!!]

December 2: 

The reason why I'm "chain-streaming" accounting-finance-auditing webinars while trying to do laundry, cook, toddler-proofing, making a new office space, etc. Yep, I could have done some more professional development (or any of those other things) earlier this year (COVID is only part of it), but no.

Thankfully, Emma's spending more time at my mom's and James is at daycare.  I can do it!  

December 5/6: 

A whole week of plus temperatures (around 6 degrees), and a high of 9 predicted for today.  "Yay!" and "Uh-no!" captured perfectly.  I'd smile if I wasn't ready to cry.  

Panes, Drains, Trains, and Auto stuff

A short warm snap means time to get going on these chores, or else be caught in under zero weather and snow again... though would be easier if I didn't have this cold.  

Never mind, go, go, go!  Let's get it done! 

- Caulk/seal the draft in the window frames (wipe the condensation between the windows?)

- Clear the drains (open windows for ventilation) 

- Switch out the old car seat for new (Emma is growing up *sniff*)

- Bring in the train table from garage 

- Take out boxes to garage 

- Dig out more winter gear 

Wish me luck!  

Ricky

When I first saw the facebook post, I thought it must be a mistake.  But no.  Ricky has died of COVID-19.  How is this possible?  It showed up on a friend's post, and I convinced myself for a second that it was another Ricky, but I can now see his photo.  After clicking a link I see Global News has an article.  

https://globalnews.ca/news/7485069/edmonton-man-coronavirus-death-social-media-covid/

I can't read this now.  I can't think about this now.  There's so much to do.  I'm not sure how to process this at all.  Later, later.

Things I Threw Out Today

or __Things I have Given Up On Today__ 

In order of least to most guilt: 

- 3 dishwashing gloves with holes (thought I could layer them together and use them for a little bit longer)

- some of James's daycare arts/crafts (but I did recover some of the bits for reuse)

- a whole loaf of mouldy bread (how did it go bad so quickly?)

Triceratops or or Cthulhu?

Triceratops 

or Cthulhu? 

Happy Fire-Chicken Day!

James: My fire chicken is broken!  

Paul: ? 

Me: The direct translation for "Turkey" in Chinese is "Fire Chicken".   

Paul: That puts Stravinsky's Firebird in a new light. 

I am so thankful for our health and our family and friends.  May your fire-chicken be moist (unburnt) and your apple crumble not exploded (will post about that later).  

Now sleep in it! (Part: I've lost count)

Finally!  Step "I've forgotten now": James's toddler bed turns back into a crib for Emma. 

So glad the instructions are in that envelope stapled to the bed rungs, else they'd definitely been lost by now.  

Paul keeps Emma away for as long as he could, and then she's in the room with me... and tries to help.  We definitely have to keep an eye on her -- just like her brother, it won't be long before she starts taking things apart to figure them out.  

Why we still don't have a vegetable scrubber or kitchen timer or...

OK, only mostly why (see history of indecision).  

Emma and Me

A year ago: 

Today:

Water, water, everywhere...

Or _Two Out of Three Ain't Bad_

A mop exclusively for my yacht?  That I bought at Dollarama? 

Well, I guess if reading / listening to Kevin Kwan's Crazy Rich Asians series has taught me anything is that the old wealthy from Singapore definitely know how to keep their money... so maybe yes.

I can dream I'm on a yacht... we both have poop decks :P

The Last One

The day has finally come: The oatmeal cupboard / shelf (that was stuffed full of oatmeal bags) is one away from empty.  Just need to bite the bullet (again) and order it even though not on sale... and of course, hope there are no shortages.  

Bye-bye, Birdie.

Spoke too soon.  Saw the bird, but then yesterday saw the nest had fallen -- too much wind?  An attack from the magpies... abandoned because of too much (of our) attention?

I picked up the nest and put it back.  No eggs inside or around on the ground.  I tell James the bird might come back if we leave it alone. 

Back in my head I flash back to that day I managed to catch a baby-ish robin.  I was maybe seven?  It's leg had been tangled in some monkshood flower stalks and it didn't seem able to fly.  I was so excited I brought it inside the house.  Mom and Dad were not happy about it, but gave me a shoe box to put it in. 

At some point later in the day they convinced me it needed its parents and that we should set it free.  My dad gently tossed the bird into the crook of a tree branch before I headed off to school.  When I got home I didn't see the bird there and asked about it.  Was I crying?  Dad said he saw a mommy and daddy bird come pick it up and wing-in-wing they flew away.  I think it comforted me.  Though  I realise now of course how crazy a sight that would be.  The bird likely didn't make it. 

James calls every robin his pet "Cushion" -- and strangely refers to their colouring as "yellow".  This makes me think about Chinese royal robes: yellows and oranges were considered part of the "brown" family of colours.  Maybe not so strange after all.  I wonder if other cultures combine those together too...

"I miss the luxury..."

"I miss the luxury of caring about stuff that doesn't matter." ~ John Green


It's a marathon.

Tooth-hurty AM

I've removed egg and sesame from our diets, but Emma's still waking up once or twice a night crying / screaming.  Tooth number 4 (front top right) must be a doozy.

But when I crack open her mouth to check: Woah!  Numbers 5 and 6 have broken through and there are nubs for 7 and 8 (all on top)!  So many at once and some really ahead of schedule!  I guess I should have suspected something more between all the drool and the biting (BFing is not fun right now).

It feels like a trick: From afar or looking down, she's my baby; Up close and looking up, "Wha?  Who's Chompers?"

The List(s)

To get some buy-in, I'm piggy-backing on one of James's current favourite stories: The List* (from Frog and Toad Together by Arnold Lobel).   We've made to-do lists after breakfast for the past week.  And, we'd sometimes check, sometimes cross off (sometimes both) the completed tasks as I nudge/remind/push him through them.  It sort of works?

Yesterday, while mapping out our day writing up the list, he said, "James is Mama's list."

To him: "I think you mean "James and Mama's list"". 

To myself: "Yeah, pretty much." Sigh.

___________________________________

* A copy of the story can be read here.

The story read aloud:

Spring it be

Paul pointed it out and now the plant in front of our house will forever be the "Yoda plant".*

*Also because I never remember its real (botanical) name (possibly viburnum lantana).  

Hair-itage

What's that growing from the top of her head?!  A blonde hair?!

Mom / Popo reminds me her mom's family was from northern China... so who knows what recessive genes might be floating around?  

Mama / Bun

This morning wasn't bad, but The Weakerthans "Virtute The Cat Explains Her Departure" played on CBC and I quietly cried.  Paul didn't know what to do.  I calmed down and got back on with the routine. Repeating in my head my version, "I can remember the sound that you found for me."   Unlike Virtute the Cat, I know I'd be called back.




All this sadness is temporary.  Should instead be enjoying the breather away from James and get some stuff sorted for when he's back. 

Virtute The Cat Explains Her Departure
The Weakerthans

It had something to do with the rain
Leaching, loamy dirt
And the way the back lane came alive
Half moon whispered, "Go"
For a while I heard you missing steps in the street
And your anger pleading in an uncertain key
Singing the sound that you found for me

When the winter took the tips of my ears
Found this noisy home
Full of pigeons and places to hide
And when the voices die
I emerged to watch abandoned machines
Waiting for their men to return
I remember the way I would wait for you
To arrive with kibble and a box full of beer
How I'd scratch the empties desperate to hear
You make the sound that you found for me

After scrapping with the ferals and the tabby
Let you brush my matted fur
How I'd knead into your chest while you were sleeping
Shallow breathing made me purr

But I can't remember the sound that you found for me
I can't remember the sound that you found for me
I can't remember the sound

Cultured and Diet Diversity

Reading and immensely enjoying (thanks, Kevin!) Cultured: How Ancient Foods Can Feed Our Microbiome by Katherine Harmon Courage.  I know part of why I like it is that "I'm in the choir" (plants are good for you, your gut biome is important--especially for the brain), but it's also very readable, and fun to go on her travel adventures to discover / learn about cultured foods.

Anyway, it comes at the right time: my mood is low, I don't feel healthy, and I'm getting worried / frustrated with my diet restrictions.

Harmon talks about the benefits of a plant diet for their fibres and action as prebiotics, and concludes at some point that more fibres and more differnt types of fibres the better and that in the past, humans definitely ate a more diverse array of plants.  At one point she refers to 100+ species of plants as a benchmark for diversity in a type of cuisine.

Um... so back to examining my plate: What do I eat?  What can I eat right now?  My list has 78, but that's really over the whole year and most are occasional / seasonal*.  On a regular day, maybe between 5-10.

Though the premise might not be complete (what about our bodies and microbes evolving to handle seasonal availability of plants?), I think I will try to make it a goal to try new plants... once I'm OK with having more different kinds of foods.  I would also love to try more of these cultured foods -- I'm hoping they'll fill in the gaps of what I'm missing right now.

* Also, am I cheating by including spices?  Yikes, and how many of these are actually the same species and I'm just eating a cultivar / variation?

What I can / do eat right now:

1. Apples 
2. Oats
3. Rice (brown usually)
4. Flax 
5. Oranges (mandarin, navel, kumquats)
6. Onions 
7. Pears 
8. Bananas 
9. Carrots 
10. Garlic 
11. Grapefruit 
12. Cinnamon
13. Tomatoes (fresh, canned, sundried)
14. Celery 
15. Green Onions 
16. Grapes (Red and Green)
17. Amaranth (greens, seeds?)
18. Coconut
19. Mangoes 
20. Yu Choy 
21. Bok Choy 
22. Spinach 
23. Chickpeas 
24. Broccoli 
25. Cauliflower 
26. Ginger 
27. Lentils (red, green, brown) 
28. Lemon 
29. Cilantro (ground and leafy)
30. Blueberries 
31. Strawberries 
32. Peaches 
33. Plums
34. Bell peppers 
35. Quinoa 
36. Green beans 
37. Kidney beans 
38. Black-eyed peas 
39. Beets (roots and greens)
40. Potatoes 
41. Squash (Zucchini, Pumpkin, butternut)
42. Kale 
43. Cranberries
44. Cherries 
45. Apricots
46. Dates 
47. Swiss Chard 
48. Mushrooms (white, brown, cremini, shittake) 
49. Chia 
50. Avocado 
51. Sunflower seeds 
52. Rosemary 
53. Turmeric 
54. Cumin
55. Basil 
56. Oregano
57. Raspberries 
58. Blackberries 
59. Napa cabbage 
60. Olives 
61. Watermelon 
62. Cucumber
63. Eggplant 
64. Brussels sprouts
65. Daikon radish
66. Figs
67. Sweet potato
68. Asparagus
69. Yams
70. Lychee
71. Papaya
72. Pineapple
73. Tapioca
74. Bitter melon
75. Ya Pear
76. Mint
77. Mustard
78. Lettuce

Soon, maybe? Fingers crossed, I can add these back in: 

1. Almonds 
2. Peanuts 
3. Soy
4. Sesame
5. Corn 
6. Wheat 
7. Barley 
8. Cashew 
9. Walnuts 
10. Cocoa powder (who am I kidding? It'll be chocolate)
11. Pistachios

Dragged into the less distant past.

I got a smartphone!  Since switching providers*, I found out my old Nokia 3310 was not compatible (so annoying).  No one seems to sell "dumb" phones in stores, so I took a leap on a cheaper older (2013) used smartphone.

Well, it works.  I can call, receive calls, text (and so much easier with the keyboard -- no more multi-tap!)... I just need to get smart enough to use the other features.  Fingers crossed I'm not too dumb for it.

* To Public Mobile for the fabulous value (please use my referral code R34PZO or this link if you decide to switch)
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2020-02-15 Update: I've since learned the Nokia 510 is a Windows-based phone that Microsoft no longer provides apps or support.  Darn, I was actually looking forward to Whatsapp and Flash Foods... but at least I won't be distracted by games either. Jeff says I'm in an exclusive club with a Windows phone -- like people with Blackberries (Jack).  I laugh: Yep, that's totally why I got it, so prestigious :P

tl;dr / tl;dfw*

* Too Long; Didn't Fully Write

Worried about, taking lots of brain bandwidth:
- James's behaviour, and my reactions / dealing with it
- Emma's diet (... and therefore my diet)
- cell phone down
- car uncertain
- MUS still here?
- so behind on paperwork
- personal health, aging
- maintaining friendships (not doing a good job)
- how do other people manage this? 

Trying to appreciate / focus on the positives: 
- so much support from family and friends
- Emma smiles when she sees me
- Paul's here
- health could be so much worse
- it's no longer -30 C (with windchill on top)
- all the things in being alive and having a home in Canada

My Brown-Eyed Strawberry Girl

"You are my strawberry girl... Do you remember when we used to sing?"