Andrew and Sherry (what you can can't prepare for)

It felt good to go over to Andrew and Sherry's to talk about pregnancy and parenting, see it in action, and get some down-to-earth advice. 

We arrived during the sleep routine:
- No TV after 6 p.m.
- Snack and stories start at 6:30 p.m.
- 7 p.m. bed time
- lavender oil to help relax them, and sometimes melatonin drops

But of course, since Paul and I are sooo exciting, after bed time the kids left their beds to peek in on what we were doing. 

Not much really.  We had some food and talked.

I was warned about about some of the judgement that's likely to come:
There will be people looking at the bulge of the diaper and judge: cloth=good, disposable=bad; the bulge of baby's cheeks for muscle development: breastfeeding=good, bottle-fed=bad...

But remember, it doesn't matter.  You'll be doing your best, and that's what matters. 

They talked about strength when things don't go according to plan. 

The funny: thought their first baby would be a girl -- in the delivery room they were rethinking the plan (right, boy scouts instead of girl scouts)

To the truly trying: Beforehand thought the only thing she couldn't cope with was a child in the autistic spectrum. 

How things can escalate to C-Section: Their advice: If you start out with fewer / less intervention(s), there are more things you can do before getting there. Reminder: You have rights. 

"The boys" went then to talk about furnaces :)

Sherry then says she'd be happy to listen to me vent, and be the "appointment" I have when I needed to escape Mom's over attention. 

They are good people.

Phase III

It is true. 

Though part of it might have started much earlier, and I just didn't notice with 10 hours of sleep a night over the holidays.  And not needing to sit (or stay in one position) for extended periods of time. And I was dehydrated?  I do drink more water at work...

Anyway, here's the attractive list:
- Swelling in feet and legs
- Tired and so sleepy
- Tough to touch my toes (maybe even knees)
- Sitting upright is uncomfortable.
- Swelling in hands (clumsy with chopsticks, hurts when I grip too hard)
- Belly button is tender - oh yay, stretching! Or maybe because my work keys (around my neck) bounce on the exact same spot.

"I have no doubt by the next time I see you, that baby will be beating you up."

Right. Yep. Lots of activity especially when I'm lying down or still.  It's not painful, but definitely shocking when it's hitting my full/semi-full stomach.  Ugh.

Mid-Autumn Festival Reveal

Kevin: This pot's so big you could cook a baby in it. Maybe two...
Me: Is this our segue?

Celina: "I'm so happy for you!  I don't want to hold it."
Kevin: "Yay, I'm going to have another cousin.  I don't want to hold it."

What?  Do they think I'm just going throw the baby at them?!

Kevin jumped up from his chair - showing a bit of that excitement that we were hoping for.  Celina's mouth was opened wide smiling.

Regardless of these, I'm glad everyone's so happy... well, maybe except Theresa.  I don't know, my guard is up at every point.

Theresa: "Oh, you're going to be 36 when you have the baby.  That's later that me."

Kevin: "When your kid starts school, Jack and Jeff are going to be so old!"
Me: "Um... so will we..."

Theresa: "When's your due date?"
Kevin: "Darn, that's a school day."
Celina: "It's not like they'd want you there!"
Me: "Um... you guys realise it isn't clockwork, right?"

Mom: "Stop talking about it!"

Right, we wouldn't want to tempt fate, but I think Celina already (within seconds) posted it / shared it with all her friends.

Kevin: "You have to name it after us."
Me: "Kelina?"
Paul: "Celvin?"

Maybe not.

The day after...

Mom calls.

"Good news: We have all these things saved up from when your sisters were pregnant, so you don't have to buy new, go through the stuff and see what you need."

And then... more of the same nagging, "When are you going to get a car?  It's going to be all icy, and that walk of yours to the bus stop is so far away.  And you're not volunteering right?  ... Can you hear me?" 

"Yes.  I can.  And I only have the same answer.  It's tiring and tedious for me to answer the same thing over and over.  So if you want to really talk and not just lecture me, ask me real questions." 

"Don't get upset!  It's bad to get stressed."

Telling the Parents

Telling Jackie: 

Me: "I don't know what to say."
Paul: "Lana's pregnant!"
Jackie: "Oh....." (Followed by happy crying.)

Telling my parents:

My mom runs through her daily questions and speeds into her closing speech when I stop her: "Wait!  I have something to say.  Actually, Paul and I have something to say."

Mom: "Oh, I didn't think you had anything to say."

Me: "You know how you always say I should get / a baby... well, I've got one..."
(It was something in between, "I'm preggers" and "I'm gestating" (I didn't want to say I "have joy!"))

Mom: "Congratulations!  Congratulations!  I'm so happy.  Every night I worry about you, and now my heart is lighter.  I can't wait to hold the baby..."

Me: "That's great Mom.  Have a good sleep tonight.  Yes... yes..."

Mom: "... Oh, so don't eat cold foods.  Eat more nutritious foods... more eggs... don't do so much volunteering, you'll tire yourself out... and don't stay out so late..."

Yes.  Indeed almost in one breath it was I'm so happy and here's how you need to live now.  I don't like how (once again) my body is not my own.  But I know I have to fight my rebelliousness... because it's true, what I do is important and has great repercussions.  But it shouldn't belong to everybody... I know the judging will start.  I can't avoid it any more.

Today's horoscope (eerily accurate):
No matter how persuasive you may be with others you can no longer fool yourself that things can stay as they are.  Both at work and in your private life there will have to be changes.

Changing. Clothes.

Did I really actually feel zen and good about my body changing?  That I was feeding and nourishing it?

Well, not any more.

It's still early days and already... ugh...  My clothes are feeling tight -- and some just don't fit -- and I'm panicking: What if I never fit back into them again?

That makes me sad.  My beautiful clothes!

Ugh.

Things that seem really disgusting right now:

- Coconut (the thought of, but not the actual taste)
- Watermelon salad
- My laundry detergent fragrance

Eating Light(hearted)

"When a pregnant woman goes bike touring, she will eat the world!" ~ Steph

I think I can understand now why some pregnant women eat so much.  Well, so much more than strictly needed.  There's less shame and baggage about weight gain. Now when I'm hungry, I eat.  I try to eat things that are healthy and nutritious (but maybe not as organic as I should) and I do it gladly.  I don't eat and worry about becoming fat.  I don't let myself go hungry.  Instead, I think, this is good -- I'm building discipline and "being good".  My baby is getting the nutrients it needs.  I eat with pleasure and gusto.

Sure, I don't want to eat in excess, but I 'm trying to believe that when my body wants something, it's something I should be having / doing.

Wow, this makes me reaslise just how messed up my regular life is when it comes to food...