To Blue Orchid and Back!

We took our first bus trip!

Olivia and TipTip's birthday celebration was in the perfect location: Just one bus away.  So, we packed the stroller and set off to Blue Orchid.

What a hot day.  We arrived to find the air conditioning wasn't working.  I felt a hot sweaty mess, but James had the option on stripping down to his onsie.

Monica and TipTip seemed to have a good time bouncing James around.  But Wendy, Lorena, and Olivia kept their distance.

Wendy: He's not looking at me, I'm not going to play with him.

Ugh, eating was so awkward.  I originally planned on just ordering plain white rice and something separate from the menu, but people wanted to be nice and said, "Oh, just make sure they don't use MSG in any of the dishes..." It likely made everyone's meal less nice.  And, I ended up sticking just to white rice and some chicken that didn't touch the soy sauce (since I just wasn't sure).  And no cake :(

Wendy said I didn't look very cheerful.  I told her I was just so tired.  It was hard to follow the conversation around the table. Even out of my arms, my focus was drawn to James.

The other part, of course, is that leaving the house is a bit a headache even with Paul there to help.  I'm appreciating ramps a lot more and have to think twice about where the stroller can go.  And, it turns out, not all washrooms have a fold down change table!  Thankfully there was a enough counter space near the sink, and James was good enough (this time) not to roll.

Things learned:  Need to pack 2 outfits at least.  (Yep, he messed up both.) 

These beautiful cakes are from T&T.  They say the taro (on the right) was better than the chestnut.

















And wow, downtown sure looks different.

Weekend Found/Redone

I'm so tired, I've moved into "wired" territory.  Though, this second (third, forth?) wind could also be because of the excitement this past weekend: I got to see friends and the room (nursery) is so much closer to being done!

You do your thing, I'll just wait.

Saturday

Kathy, Neil, and Aidan dropped around noon.  I could only stare at Aidan in wonder -- really, James is going to be that big?  And fast... and into EVERYTHING?!  We seriously need to do more child-proofing.  Who knew wires would be so interesting?  I joked when they were leaving, "We'll have to have you bring him again to "test" the house."

Neighbour Tim arrived early afternoon with homemade maki and a beautiful knit blanket.  We're not particularly close, so I surprised myself when I started telling him how hard it was and unprepared I felt.  Maybe I just needed to talk.

He said it's not surprising we feel unprepared for things like birth and death -- we're so sheltered / cut-off from these aspects of life (i.e. hiding it away in hospitals, not getting to know our neighbours...).   He's currently volunteering at a palliative care centre where his family-friend (the one who knit the blanket) lives.  I looked at James and thought, yes, one day I will die... and this is all part of the cycle...

Paul came home from his errands and then Beth arrived.  She was eager to get in lots of baby cuddles and to find out all about Paul's (still new-ish) job -- good thing she can multi-task.

Rem arrived next with toys and clothes from Jono and Dawn.  Lucky James!  They just happened to getting rid of their baby stuff and mentioned it at Feast!

Rem and Beth stayed on to talk.  My brain was shutting down, unable to follow what was going on (no nap, and overall a much longer visit than I originally planned), but it was so nice to have them there.  It made the house feel nice.  And James, I think, despite a small protest, enjoyed it too.

Sunday

Shauna, Alannah, Rebekah, Jasmine, and Olivia arrive with big bags and boxes of baby things -- things that now with James I realised we needed (more swaddling blankets, bibs, hats, socks...).  And we (me and them) go to IKEA.  It was just how I imagined the nursery set up day would be, but of course, before James was born.  

(Above left: The room "before".)

And... I also thought I would be the one doing most of the crib setup with Jazzy (since I actually liked that sort of thing), but between my all my hurting bits and taking care of James, Paul had to take over the challenge (/ tedium -- each his own).

It was a really good thing we attempted it before going to IKEA: we were missing 1 wooden dowel!

All the while, Rebekah and Olivia were having a grand time pretending to be babies and then dancing around like mad inside the crib frame.  I know Paul thinks James is pretty loud, well, two high-energy excited girls in such small space was probably the limit.  He made through it!  Good job, honey!

IKEA was a lot of fun.  I ate fish and chips (no tartar sauce) and was caught up watching the girls (so sassy!) and getting some insight on what else we might need/want for James.

I was in awe of Shauna and Jazzy for keeping their cool and being so laid back.  They never raised their voices, they were playful... they were awake...  And they were so supportive.  I'm grateful for them, and wish I'd been there to help them more with their kids...

Back at home, with extra wooden dowels, Paul and Jazzy go back to work.

Once done, Olivia, very graciously relinquished her ownership of the crib with a goodbye.

It was a tiring weekend, but again, it just felt so good.

James won't be ready the crib or the room for a long while, but it's a big step in the right direction.  I just might have to stop calling it my "crap" room (when, when I get rid of more of the crap...)

(Right: The room "after")

Aunties C & C and a Pattern?

Charlotte and Catherine came for a visit today!

Catherine is (another) natural -- she knew what to do with James and was happy to do it.  I had to ask: Did she play with dolls?  The answer was yes.  She even had that doll I remember from television, the one that "drinks" from the bottle and its nappy gets wet.  I wonder if that's part of my problem (I didn't play with dolls, I'm kind of scared of them -- though I might be mixing up the cause with the effect).



















Haven't seen Charlotte in a while, so we needed updates: 1. She's half contemplating becoming a ninja (they're taking applications... and Mike would love to too...)  2. They're looking for a new car.    

Charlotte wasn't jumping to hold James (she's got 3 of her own after all), and when she did she said he was light :)  I appreciated how candid she was about post-partum depression.  And she's had near-death birthing complications...  I asked and she told me about getting to the point of not caring about all the judgement (I hope I can get there).

She also brought me a BabyBjorn, an adjustable, ergonomic carrier.  It's so cool!  And Charlotte says Lucas (and Mike) loved it.  But James isn't big enough for it yet (min 8 lbs).

I've also considered making a "Moby" or monkey sling... but that would require time and energy.

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I think I see a pattern now with James: there's a good day, then a bad day... and then repeat.

Or maybe I'm the one who has a good day and then my hopes get up too high.

(Below: Paul and an uncertain James / Further below: James, certainly crying)

Was a little scared when the area around the incision starting hurting a few days ago.  Maybe just cramps?  I'm trying not to think of Angela's story about how the stitches inside can tear.  It's not red and puffy like other signs of infection... just need to rest and keep an eye on it I guess.

Where is the love?

I didn't mind confessing to Beth.  Maybe it's because she knows so many other moms and they've been through this.  Or maybe because she'd already had most of it figured out from her great questions.

There was no judgement, just a funny and reassuring anecdote of another friend who for days after giving birth hated her husband, was angry at the world and her baby... and then "snap", completely forgetting those days existed.  She was doting and happy and fine.

I'm stilling waiting for that happy place.  I feel dull and drained.  I look at James and am confused sometimes, "Who is this baby?"

I know with a C- section (and no labour), I didn't have the same flood of hormones as with a vaginal birth.  Intellectually I know (suspect) this is part of the problem.  It's also one reason why I'm insisting on breastfeeding.

Olivia had told me how she first saw her daughter: something small and helpless that needed her care, but no different from another baby.  Once she started breastfeeding though, that's when she felt it -- waves of love.  She was hers.

I'd been flippant at the time, "Oh, that's just oxytocin being released...", as if knowing (some of) the biology and chemistry of it made it simple.  But of course, it only seems simple and effortless when it works.

It sounded stupid to say out loud: I didn't realise how physical it (being a mom) would be.  I'd thought all the dramatic changes to my body happened during the pregnancy and afterward would just be "returning to normal".  But instead, there's a completely new normal I'm supposed to accept.  That'll teach me for not reading ahead in all those health books.

TipTip and the Tropikas

I was at Tropika, but the wrong Tropika.  Did you know there were two?  Good thing for cell phones!  I called Wendy and was redirected to go further south to Cafe de Tropika.  The new restaurant specialising in Hong Kong-style foods (rather than Thai) was TipTip's choice for her birthday celebrations. 

The girls were comfortably sitting in a corner booth and sipping hot tea and "red bean ices".  Before I even settled down, food appeared.  Perfect!  No need for me to decide ;)

I enjoyed the look of the place, which was modern and gleaming.  Meanwhile, the food was pure greasy nostalgia on a plate*: between bites of toothpicked-speared pieces of rice noodle rolls in peanut and seafood sauce (right), Wendy told us how it tasted exactly like what she ate as a child in Hong Kong. 

* Like Double Greeting, albeit cleaner, higher quality, more expensive, and with some healthy options - like a fruit salad with smoked salmon (left).

Impressed, I looked at the menu and found one of my favourite childhood dishes: 鴛鴦飯 "Mandarin Duck Rice". 

Would the fried rice dish smothered in two sauces (sweet and sour tomato and creamy seafood, close-up below) live up to my memory?  In short, no.  The ingredients weren't quite the same.  The creaminess of the one wasn't enough to balance the sour of the other.  Quite likely my tastes have changed anyway.  Others thought it was still reasonably good.

(Side note: Their website amusing reads as though it's Google translated.) 

After dinner, we headed over to Wendy's for the party's part two: Cake! 

And, of course, it wouldn't be right or proper if there wasn't some girl talk and hand-holding/measuring too. 

Happy birthday, TipTip!