Hair-itage

What's that growing from the top of her head?!  A blonde hair?!

Mom / Popo reminds me her mom's family was from northern China... so who knows what recessive genes might be floating around?  

Happy Chinese New Year!

It's the Year of the Rooster (Chicken).  My boys indulged me with a 10 minute calendar shoot :)

I read the Telegraph article "Chinese New Year 2017, year of the Rooster! What's your zodiac animal?" (sorry for the video auto-play).  The list of Chinese New Year's Day Taboos was particularly interesting.

I already know not to wash things, but didn't know it was partially because (#3) "People do not wash clothes on the first and second day because these two days are celebrated as the birthday of Shuishen (水神, the Water God)."

Number 8 "Crying Children" ("The cry of a child is believed to bring bad luck to the family so parents do their best to keep children as happy as possible.") is a little too late / unavoidable now (more about that later)...

I kept the tradition of a vegetarian lunch (corresponds to #13).  Well, mostly, I finished off James's lunch and that had some fish...

---------------------------------------------------------

This photo seems appropriate (Coconut and House Hippo from last-last Christmas (2015)).

 And, so does this:

Canada Day - Naps, Blitz, Life

We had a fairly quiet morning -- James got some time with his friends (right).

Paul had a nap.  James had a nap.

And then we all head out to Riverdale to join the fam for their celebrations.

Well, sort of.  It was so hot we stayed inside for the first bit. 

Paul was pulled into Celina, Kevin, and Ryan Game of Life. I escape to get MY nap (finally :P). 

Yes, sleeping made me miss Life...but I joined in on "Blitz".

We eventually headed out to the community centre.  Theresa had a big pot KD mac & cheese ready. 

While others lined up for the barbeque, I hung out with James (he in the stroller) next to the salad table.  When people brought new things, I immediately asked about ingredients.  I'm glad this is only temporary. 

Good thing there was a tabuloeh salad, and fruit, else I would have been eating my plain pasta.  Oh, well, it's what I kind of expected (but I was too stubborn to give into my Mom's worrying).

Outside, Celina had a big reunion with friends (Sam and Pia). 

I caught the eye of another baby; his name is Atticus James!  This blonde cutie had a disturbing/cute play tent / sun shelter... but did one really want to crawl into the mouth of a shark?

Back at home, I gave James a bath (another one since it was so hot).  It worked!  He was actually happy to be in the water. 

(Above: Blitz in action)

(Left: Atticus James and shark tent)

(Above a rusty old Ford truck on the walk home -- coffee cup on the hood.)

Bow Tie Friday, Eggs, and Baby Hyde

No fooling: Paul wore a bow tie to work!  It's great, and annoying.

He won't do it for fashion reasons or from any of my prodding, but as a joke and "Peer pressure" at work...  Argh!  But my "Whatever, at least he's doing it" starts kicking me to let it go, and he looks so cute...

He tells me it's going to become a weekly tradition Bow Tie Fridays (the brand of his bow tie just happens to be Bow Tie Tuesday).

Mom and I don't have such a fashionable day with James.  We do some chores (she's cleaning the house, I'm cleaning out what is to become the nursery), I manage a short nap, and we make another batch of red eggs* -- for people will be coming to visit James this weekend!

* The food colouring turned out to be a bluer hue of fuchsia instead of a bright orange red.

I'm excited for the visits, but also worried I won't be able to keep James happy during them.

It's awful when he cries.  It cuts through me.  His face turns purple. I panic about toxic stress and prolonged crying and scramble to make it stop.

Grandma (Jackie) has suggested it might be colic (since the bulk of crying is around the same time at night).  But, thankfully, the amount doesn't total over 3 hours a day.  I feed him, change him, and spend a lot of time rocking and burping him... hoping something works.  And then, just like how starts, it suddenly stops.

I guess the fact that the crying is a lot stronger and louder than a month ago is a good sign.

Paul's photos of James's 滿月 "Full Moon"

Ack!  Has it really been a whole month?!

Full Month / Full Moon! James's 滿月

Celina: "Don't gender colours!"
Jack: "What?  Pink is for girls.  Salmon is o.k. for guys."

Except, of course, it's a big Chinese event so pink, red, orange are for everybody!

Angela, Patrick, and Jack came up from Calgary, so with Theresa, Carl, Celina, Kevin, and my parents it was a(n over-)full house!

Egg-cellent party favours (w/ sour soothers and gummy bears)

So much cleaning up this past week, did it pay off?  Well, some of my boxes ended back in the baby room... And I had a good hard time trying to not let the criticism get to me...  But in the end, even if it was a bit of a strange setup,  I think we did o.k.

James protested his bath, but slept soundly through the rest of things.

I bossed people around to move tables and grab chairs and it felt rather good.  They didn't want me to lift things either... yep, that's still probably a good idea.

The meal included traditional items (barbeque pork, chicken, bean noodles/threads), vegetables (for the vitamins), and brown rice.

Oh, the brown rice my Mom worried and stressed about days before.  Guess what?  Kevin and Celina ate it (even asked if they could make some at home). Patrick and Jack ate it.  Everyone ate food and eventually were not hungry!  Granted Dad did have a bit of trouble with it and his teeth.  And, Mom, trying to stay positive for the day conceded it was good at least for slowing down eating :)

(Above: James's new hat is "gansta!")

We'd opted out of some of the other traditions (e.g. first hair cut, and Paul had requested no incense in the house -- my parents burnt offerings outside instead), but there was one that seemed relatively harmless... well, except for the sex / gender bias.

Celina: I'm not going to do it if it's just because I'm the only girl!

So instead, Kevin carried James in the baby sling (for all of 1 minute, for photos).  But this ritual* supposedly means the two of them will be "buddies" for the years to come.  I carried Celina and Kevin -- and that's what Theresa and Mom credits for us being so buddy-buddy :P  

* It doesn't seem quite as well known (and likely practiced?) as the red eggs, hair cutting, naming, coming out to public, and offerings to ancestors  (per Baby Centre Malaysia's "Baby Traditions: Chinese full moon celebration" or Wai Yee Hong's "Chinese baby customs & full moon party").  I like the metaphor though.

There was also a dinner out at a restaurant tonight, but the guest of honour (James and therefore I too) was not allowed to go (my dad is convinced it's a bad idea to take him to such public places)... that's o.k. we managed more than fine.  I was happy to have a relatively quiet house after all the noise (and family).

I ate an orange and after a month of not being allowed to**, it was great.  Not the best texture (out of season?  rather dry), but a lovely taste, not too sweet with a hint of sour, just how I like it.

**Oranges are cooling foods (Ping Ming Health's handy list "Warming and cooling characteristics of common foods")

Red Eggs-citing

Red cabbage seemed like a likely choice, but apparently they dye eggshells blue!

I was tickled: Here I was looking a food safe red dye for James's Full Month celebration eggs, when everyone else was probably working on Easter eggs.  Will this be my rebirth?

I'm hopeful and excited enough by the prospects to be lured into fun and fancy designs*.  One could make lovely marbled patterns using shaving cream (or Cool Whip so you can still eat the eggs).

But more realistically, I (we) only have time and energy for plain red.

Serious Eats uses beets for red, and What's Cooking America suggests raspberries and cherries (among many others).  The results, however, are pale compared with the intense and bright red of Nasi Lemak Lover's eggs (using Rose Syrup) and Demi Kehoe's (both are "birthday" egg recipes, not Easter eggs).

It's fun to daydream, but again, practicalities.  Whatever Theresa can find for me we'll use.

* Though still traditional enough to stick with hard-boiled eggs rather than anything fancy (specially packaged, flavoured eggs) like what Olivia said was the trend in China.  She'd also mentioned there was a "code" of sorts to indicate if you've had a boy or girl... I found one reference indicating an even number for a boy, an odd number for girl.

Sitting the Month

It's also known as "The Golden Month".  When Esther and our pre-natal teacher mentioned it (on different occasions), I thought I knew what it involved (mostly not leaving the house with the baby and eating that ginger-vinegar, 薑醋, dish).  But wow, I'd only known a scratch of it.  Now, in trying to explain it to some friends, I've searched online and learned more:

1. I'm not supposed to leave the house at all
2. Brushing of teeth is also banned
3. No spicy or highly intensely flavoured foods (and definitely no cold foods)

4. No digital devices.
5. A lot more... (see 10 Facts about China’s “Sitting the Month” Postnatal Tradition)

Really wish I knew it before hand and been more prepared.  Maybe Mom and I would be fighting less.  Did she think I knew?  Or did she know I wouldn't be happy about it, so decided not to elaborate...

Apparently Kate Middleton sparked discussion in the online Chinese community.  Someone even suggesting Chinese women and western women might actually have different physiology (I can kind of see that... of course, it's a really broad brush.)

Above were some of the more sensational and strange bits, but there are some others that do make sense (such as no heavy lifting).  CNN's article "No showers or going outdoors: Why the Chinese put mothers into 'confinement'" also cites some Chinese Medicine doctors have updated their recommendations, just as other modernisations are taking place (e.g. state-of-the-art luxury maternity centres).

Acubalance's "Preparing for Postpartum also manages to make a part of it (a lighter practice) sound reasonable: "Have anyone and everyone else do the house chores. Let your family and friends do your dishes, cook your food, clean your house, do your laundry and walk your dog. This is not being selfish; you are sustaining a new little human being who depends on you solely (for now, your partner will get their turn soon enough) as well as recovering from the biggest event of your life. Even if you are feeling great, amazing, full of energy!, which many women feel in that first week, fight the urge to do too much. You will naturally have a hormone crash on day 5-7, which will be 100% worse if you’ve pushed too hard while on your post birth high."

I guess I should give Mom some credit for relaxing the rules (I really don't think I could do it fully), though it could be she doesn't know them all either.  It also seems pointless to be using up all my energy to fight it, but I do wish I could pick and choose like other modern Chinese women.  Again, we're a little stuck in the past.  Only 14 more days to go.  I guess I should try to enjoy parts of it if I can.  

Outside! Free... Fear.

I'm so not supposed to be outside.  (That's likely part of the thrill.)

But, I justify my outing: I need to get some to get some things printed for work - there's still so much paperwork to be done.  The truth is though, I don't like being cooped inside.

I saw the strawberries peeking out of the half-melted snow -- a sign of almost spring?  It makes it hopeful.

But, I can also feel my body aches a bit more.  My posture has changed and standing up straight, walking... everything is a little harder.

I felt a chill with the wind - such a small breeze and I'm shivering.  I hate feeling this weak and I start worrying, maybe my body isn't ready for this.

Back at home, I show Paul my photos from the week.  He laughs: "Why are there all these birds in between photos of James?"

It's what I see!*

He thinks I should leave them in rather than split them off into a different folder: "When we look back on the collection, he'll wonder why the heck there were so many of the same birds."

(They're not actually all the same, see, a nuthatch, a woodpecker...)

It's good to laugh.  It warms me up a bit.

I also eat the "Ginger Vinegar" (薑醋) Mom's made me.  It's a traditional dish for new moms to help them heal their bodies.  Often made in large batches so it can also be shared with friends and families to celebrate the new baby (after the first month).  Aside from the ginger and (sweet dark) vinegar, it's made with pork hock, hard boiled eggs, and sugar.

I really don't like the sweet and sour taste (I add rice to try and dampen it), but maybe it will help make me feel better.

* And, it's my link to the outside. (And, because I'm a character in a book, it's also reveals my inner state.)