Bye-bye, Birdie.

Spoke too soon.  Saw the bird, but then yesterday saw the nest had fallen -- too much wind?  An attack from the magpies... abandoned because of too much (of our) attention?

I picked up the nest and put it back.  No eggs inside or around on the ground.  I tell James the bird might come back if we leave it alone. 

Back in my head I flash back to that day I managed to catch a baby-ish robin.  I was maybe seven?  It's leg had been tangled in some monkshood flower stalks and it didn't seem able to fly.  I was so excited I brought it inside the house.  Mom and Dad were not happy about it, but gave me a shoe box to put it in. 

At some point later in the day they convinced me it needed its parents and that we should set it free.  My dad gently tossed the bird into the crook of a tree branch before I headed off to school.  When I got home I didn't see the bird there and asked about it.  Was I crying?  Dad said he saw a mommy and daddy bird come pick it up and wing-in-wing they flew away.  I think it comforted me.  Though  I realise now of course how crazy a sight that would be.  The bird likely didn't make it. 

James calls every robin his pet "Cushion" -- and strangely refers to their colouring as "yellow".  This makes me think about Chinese royal robes: yellows and oranges were considered part of the "brown" family of colours.  Maybe not so strange after all.  I wonder if other cultures combine those together too...

Hair-itage

What's that growing from the top of her head?!  A blonde hair?!

Mom / Popo reminds me her mom's family was from northern China... so who knows what recessive genes might be floating around?  

Time Lapsed - Some Old Photos

Mom had ideas for James (a bath, a nap...) -- so while we waited, Jackie and I flipped through some family photos.  Mom's albums were rarely labelled and weren't in any particular order -- neither the albums nor the photos were standard sized, so she stuck photos where ever there was space*. 

*I should take some pictures next time to illustrate that...

This is what we found:

Photos from Angela and Patrick's wedding (that would be 1978?).

Right: The tea ceremony at my parents'

Below: At the reception - Nancy, Gary, Theresa, Angela, Patrick, Donald, Tim, and Kathy

























Dad's early backyard gardening attempts (Jackie: "You were pretty handsome back then."  Tim: "I'm always handsome.")  

A studio photo from China, rare because it was one of the few we found of Linda (Linda, someone, someone else, someone else-else, and my grandfather 爺爺 - Linda and Dad's dad). 












Photos at Linda and Gary's house (based on the fact I wasn't there: 1976-1977?):

Left: Theresa, York, Tim, and Angela

Right: York, Tim, Theresa, and Angela

Below left: Donald, Gary, and Theresa

Below right: Ernie and Gary




















I know Jackie was really interested in the photos of China, but I was interested in the people I knew and, of course, me!  And so we have it:


Below left: Despite being 2 weeks early (and only 5 lbs 6 oz) I quickly "caught up" and became this chubby baby.  NB: They still have those couch cushions! 

Below right: Mom and me (at around 3 months-old, based on the X-mas tree). 






I'm looking forward now to my next visit to my parents'.  Goal: Photograph and label more of those photos!  (And ideally, find some evidence of me being a cute baby.)

Checkin' out the Crib and Garden Blooms

Life is good.  I'm bouncing in my bouncer.  

I get a bottle from my PoPo.

But what's this?  

I'm not sure what I think about this.

Meanwhile, outside: 

- Some poppies are popping:

The hydrangeas are starting to bloom (and there's a few nasturtiums in the back): 

 

And, wow, the pink lilies are out in full force.

15th & 16th Photo Dump

Safe Indoors, Growing

He is fine.  I tell Mom/PoPo nothing. 


I sorted through more gifts / hand-me-down clothes.  They're oh, so cute!  But, (too bad?) James is growing and actually too big for them!

More evidence: He's filling up the box.  

Almost a full night...

Wow! Sunday to Monday, James managed a 6 hour gap between feeds!  If only I'd known, I'd have slept for all of it. 

To get this result though, he was almost constantly feeding between 8 PM and 11 PM (only a 1/2 hour gap between end of one and starting another -- I know this isn't the right way to count!).  This is cluster feeding?  Maybe we're in for a growth spurt? 

(Left: Mom gives James a hair wash -- he protests, but at least he's not screaming.) 

(Below: "Who's that other baby (and other mummy)?")

Mothers' Day

"Mother's of sons, work from son up to son down."   ~ Beccy's magnet (bestowed by Jackie)

The card "from James" was heart melting.  I think I did cry a little.  (Especially, Paul's message.) 

Invited people over in mind to honour my Mom and Jackie for mother's day, but guess what?  All the Moms ended up hard at work!  Oops.

Jackie was cooking, I was feeding (James), and then my mom showed up and immediately started cleaning...

Oh, well.  It was also sort of a belated birthday for Celina. 

Store bought pizza and lasagna, and veggies were the main menu.  There was the too sweet cake* I'd made for dessert, that shocked her and Kevin (because my stuff was usually so "mild" -- my words.). 

*No eggs -- a decent (though sweeter) substitution for 3 eggs: 1/4 cup applesauce, 2 tsp cornstarch, 6 Tbs water.

Unfortunately, the actual visiting and interaction bits didn't quite go according to plan. 

We were all awful, with me being grumpy about Mom.  I could feel myself tense up every minute she was there.

Mom: "Oh, everyone's talking in English, I don't understand what they're saying, so I'll just clean up in here.  Could you just clear that up / get that ready for me...?" 
Me: "You could try... You could talk with Celina and Kevin...  I could translate for you. 

Nothing I said could pull her away from the kitchen, but all the things she was doing also needed me to help.  I resented her for making me stay with her -- I was missing out on what's going on with the others!  

Ugh.  I wish I could be nicer.  But it was a relief when Celina and Kevin ended up taking her away. 

"When you grow up, you'll know to fear our Mom,"  Kevin and Celina told James -- so much for their part of "honouring" their mom...

Le sigh.  Maybe this is just the way it is with moms.  Such a thankless job. 

One of the sweetest messages came from Erica: "We choose our parents, James chose you!"  That made me cry again. 

Later, I did get a bit of treat: I indulged in gardening.  But the 1/2 hour, of course, was not enough.

I'd found the lily beetles have invaded!  Argh!  More than 7 adults and so many eggs.  Squished as many as I could, but it meant less time for putting things into the ground...

I need to decide out what is worse: no more lilies this year or after (the beetles will eat them to the stem and lilies won't recover), or no annuals this year?  Both uncertain since I don't know how much time I could devote to managing either anyway.

And then there's the dandelions...  (WHATEVER!) 

Popo v. Grandma or Check and Check

A super productive morning -- mania (at the sight of deadline) wins again! 

Woke up early and the dishwasher's on, the laundry's on... clean laundry is folded, we all managed to have breakfast and lunch... all according to plan.  But then Mom arrives and she has a completely different plan.

Ugh.  She didn't even notice how well we were managing without her (though of course, most of it has been Jackie...)


I try not to let it bother me, instead I remind Jackie to not get into fisticuffs over grandmother supremacy.  And then off to the dentist! 

Dr. Ferguson: It all looks boring.
Me: Yay!

It took an extra 1/2 hour longer than expected, but still happy with the results: no cavities!  And an eye exam last week said I had healthy eyes with no changes (just tired from lack of sleep).  

I'd heard with pregnancy:
1. Eyes will change dramatically, and
2. Teeth will also weaken (lose a tooth per baby)...
So does this mean I'm in the clear?  I hope so, since my work health benefits don't continue through my mat leave (though Paul's work has some coverage). 

I return home to find James bathed and a new batch of "red" eggs dyed.  So things went well.  Jackie said she mostly observed what my mom did.  And Mom was happy Grandma was paying so much attention to how things are done*.  Well, good then.  

* Though that doesn't mean that's the way I will actually do them.

Life and Taxes

I cooked a meal!  The experience wasn't quite the picture in my head, but it almost felt normal.  And there were only a handful of interruptions...

Paul was so good: He took care of James during cooking and the taxes. (James's bouncy seat is currently the tax filing basket.  Our financial lives are more complicated by the year... and the part with James hasn't even kicked in yet.)  But it wasn't without its toll:

In other news:

• Paul's photo made it to Flickr Explore!  It's "Flickr's way of showcasing the most interesting photos within a given point in time -- usually over a 24 hour period."
• Paul's last concert with CSO is now done.  
• I had another check up with Dr. Robinson.  I tried to explain that things were better, but she still seemed concerned about me.  At least I took her advice to see a RMHC.
• Visited an RMHC (Reproductive Mental Health Counsellor) - spent most of the hour trying to explain how really I was already doing much better, but also the way my Mom bothered me, was normal Chinese Mom stuff.  Yes, boundaries are important, but there was no way I was not opening the door if she's standing there on my doorstep (eventhough it's unannounced or specifically told not to).  (It would be the "English/Western Equivalent" of slamming the door in her face.)
• Opened Cynthia's baby shower gift - it had some of the cutest wrapping paper (below).

_______ when he sleeps...

"Sleep when he sleeps..." seems to be the "newborn golden rule".  But how do people do it?

I've been thinking about it for a while.

If I slept when he slept, when would there be a chance to go to the washroom, cook, etc.?

I know I've been stretching it trying to clean, tidy up, see people, answer emails in his sleeping (my waking hours) and I feel rough.  More rough than I did a couple weeks ago.  I must have used up all my reserves... and there's not much to look forward to at the moment (this weekend will be me doing taxes).

And what Mom said "What would you eat if I wasn't here?"  She thinks he's difficult right now (I actually think we're in a good stretch).  Anyway, I try to reassure her (and myself ): Paul would cook and I would probably cook too, but in big batches.  Oh, and simple one pot meals (nothing like these feasts and complicated soups they've been making me).  And yes, the microwave!  Fresh cooking or recooking items every meal takes a long time.  I also don't say, but know I'd probably cook while wearing him if he doesn't want to settle...

I wonder too if I'd sleep more or less if she's not here.  Less available time (she's not here to hold / soothe him), but fewer expectations too (less cleaning). 

Two Tastes: Eggplant and Yoso

It's been a year since I've had eggplant.

Angela and Mom's (most recent) Chinese-Medicine-Based food book deemed it wasn't good for pregnant women, and not a good choice either for sitting the month (something about the uterus... cleans out the system too much?)

Mom made it for me today and it was delicious. With garlic, salt, and ginger... it's the same softness and creaminess that I remember and can never replicate (because I'm not patient enough and I never add enough oil).  She, however, said it was tasteless because she couldn't add soy or oyster sauce... I don't miss it. 

But there are other things I do miss like yogurt and ice cream... Erica found me a comparable (dairy-free and gluten-free) treat: Yoso.  It's "Premium Creamy Cultured Coconut".  It's like a chocolatey and coconut yogurt and pudding cup in one.  Yum.

Missing the Chair, Hitting the Fan

This is the face of someone who just shot poo over a meter away hitting the couch, the floor, and a diaper bag.  The thing he missed?  The one thing recently covered with a sheet (a chair), of course.

I actually laughed.  Not manic, but something close to acceptance.  The couch needs replacing at some point anyway.  And after disinfecting and a little scrubbing there was only a small stain, acceptable for someone with a baby (imho). 

Shared the story with Mom and Angela when they arrived.

 They laughed too.

The End.  

I wish.

A minute later "the storm" hit.

Can a stain be clean enough?

I'd read online that breastfed baby poo stains needed an enzyme cleaner.  I don't have that, and, see above, was going to let it go.

Mom however, was adamant: even if we can't get it out completely, it needs to be scrubbed, washed, it's too dirty! 

Angela seemed to accept that I'd already spot disinfected it, the stain would remain, and I'd just throw a cover over it.

Ugh.  Back and forth, there was so much yelling between them.  James had moved out of "playful"into "ultra fussy and crying" mode.  

I know, it's all about different fears and concerns:
- Mom's is directed at all things dirty, things you can see, so stains are still dirty.
- Angela's is directed at germs, disinfected is o.k. (in this case, usually she's more stringent, wanting visible and non-visible clean)

I was pleasantly shocked Angela was on my side.  But I'd moved quickly on to the "I don't care who is right, just stop flipping yelling" side of things.  Flipping hold James and I'll take the stupid cover off this flipping couch.


It's not too hard to take off an Ikea couch cover... but definitely harder when the couch is weighed down by books... and when removing it means revealing the area that hasn't been vacuumed in a while...

Once the cover was off, I let them figure it out.  Wash it if you want, bleach if you want, vacuum everything if you want... WHATEVER!  Just leave me alone. I had my own things (creating enough milk) to worry about (though they argued about that too: "She needs more protein!", "She needs more rice and soup!").

I try to return to a happier sillier mood, thinking: I'm going to have change my reflexes, aren't I, James?  Instead of ducking out of the way, I need to use my body as a shield (gross, but a shower and washing my clothes is much easier than all this).

The new (second layer) couch cover is red.  Though maybe we should just change our decor colours to mustard yellow and green.  And yes, a streaky pattern.