Death by Carrot

"He likes grapes, doesn't likes raisins... he's CRAZY about juice." ~ Chris re: Mr. Anderson

I dream about spring. The weather had other ideas giving us snow fall mid-week. It was the mesmerizing type with large flakes and didn't quite fall. Instead they hovered, floated, and seemed to defy gravity (and photographing attempts). On contact, the snow melted. It was if it didn't happen. I could hardly complain - it was only -3 degrees and I had plenty of layers.

Was glad though to make it to Friday and Feast in relative good spirits. Ate many kinds of pasta, and many, many olives.

Break time with Lassy Mogs

The lassy mog is a cookie. But not just any cookie. It's soft and chewy spice cookie with pecans and raisins that seemed to melt in my mouth. I could tell this one was made with butter. Yum. I wouldn't have guessed it came from a package. It would be would taste great with tea, but it doesn't last long enough for me to prepare some.

I was on break when Kanoe offered me this "new" cookie. I savoured it while stretching and taking a look at the piles and boxes of files crowding the team's space. Gillian brings us new ones each day and carts away those that have been fully "enriched". As I looked on this mess, it occurred to me that my office (eventhough I'm sharing with Eva right now) is much nicer than Lorena's cubicle. Very strange.

Time for another cookie.

Heros and Hedwig

Worked on taxes at Theresa's yesterday. The kids, no longer placated by the calculations I give them to punch into the calculator, amused themselves by taking photos with my cell phone and then manipulating them: Here, is Celina as an astronaut, there is a (working) Lana being eaten by a crocodile...

Later, they played Shopping Cart Hero on the other computer. In the game you are a stick person careening down a hill in a shopping cart, who then performs jumps. Points are given for each jump based on height and distance achieved and for tricks and style. A crash landing leads to low style points and a big pool of red. It was a little disturbing to watch, but with such visuals I figured they wouldn't get any ideas to play with real shopping carts.

When I met up Catherine with DVD in hand, I was so excited: She'd agreed to watch Hedwig and the Angry Inch! The movie was a Beth recommendation that had met some opposition at Movie Night. The story was a bit out there: a male to female transexual from East Berlin reveals her story -- her childhood, the botched sex change operation, getting married, immigrating to America, being betrayed -- through song. We started the movie; I was transfixed.

The story was better and funnier than expected, and the visuals were amazing. Hedwig's makeup and costumes were over the top: Lips that were more red and sparkly than thought possible were set in a pale white face framed with yellow wings of hair.

The songs were witty and catchy. In no time I was singing along with Makeup (Wig in a Box), and wondering along with Hedwig about our "other half" after The Origin of Love. I still have Sugar Daddy in my head. Sure gummy bears can be pretty cute, but who'd have thought they could be so sexy?

Rem's Peep Show

and _Lana: Real Girl?_

People came. They wished Steph a happy birthday, and then I accosted them: What play are the Peeps performing? It was quick for some... and certainly not everyone got it on the first try... but we did expect someone, who came from the same country as the playwright, to have a clue*...

Aside from the Peeps show, Steph's birthday Feast also featured also a book exchange! Cam's move to Regina called for a culling of his library: Romance and Sci Fi / Fantasy books for all! I grabbed a couple of vampire romances (for a friend of course), while the others sifted through the boxes.

Erik: Is it fantasy or romance?
Steph: I can't tell. There is a half-naked guy on the front...
Erik: Is he fighting a dragon?

Cam's condo will be left vacant and available for the next few months as he considers his new job... the others take this as a sign. In the overflow room, the free condo is discussed as a major element in the plot of my escape (moving out).

"Gineau pigs are more durable." ~ Jenn

Other elements: Robots. And maybe perhaps a duct tape dressform with a tape recorder to fool my parents that I'm not actually gone. Then a bicycle cosey (inspired by chrocheted toilet-paper-roll-cover dolls) might come into play...

"Squares are jam delivery devices!" ~ Rem

Steph directed her birthday song. And then, we had cake.

Closeups and clues for the Peeps Show plus other photos from the party here.

If you've not had your fill of bunnies, get one big dose: Big Bunny (who also happens to be pink).

*In Paul's defense, after much ribbing, we considered: How many of us would be able to identify a famous Canadian play?

Extreme Accounting!

and _Be Careful What you Wish for_

"How long have been in Canada?"

Pardon? Was the writing that bad? I panicked as I sat under CGA Wendy's gaze. Not only did I manage to trip on my own feet (runners on flat carpet) causing a bad sprain (almost as random and freakish as Jenn's recent baby toe break and her "Recycling Incident"), which had led to a flurry of activity (people helping me up, people sent to find ice, elevation of the foot) only moments before, she's telling me I can't write in understandable English?!

"You say the ITA was meant to simple - have you seen the latest edition? It's THIS thick!"
"But simplicity was one of the main guidelines for an effective... " Oh, she's teasing me. Whew!

After reading Bruce Jackson's The Story is True: The Art and Meaning of Telling Stories, I was looking to impove my writing (along the lines of more interested/compelling blog entries), but was too busy studying PF1. Now I was getting the chance - sort of - in pop quiz style hour long cases, throughout a day long seminar. I'm being tested on material learned years ago, and the ability to problem solve and communicate.

CGA Wendy did say one of their goals is to scare us. That they did. I failed one of the competencies on that last case (which in an exam setting means I failed the whole exam). The cloud of doom lingers.

And then there's the CCA categories and rates. We're advised to memorise them, but not to panic about "Unmanned Satelites" (which apparently is different from a manned satelite...yikes!).

"All you need to do is write the exam really, really well." ~ CGA Wendy

On the positive side, we were being hosted at the Four Points Sheraton. Same place as which we had Nick's graduation. Things look pretty much the same, but I'm pretty sure they didn't have automated toilet paper dispensers back then, or cream and black coloured napkins that one could simply fill in the blanks to play tic-tac-toe or outline an amazing proposal idea... or I just didn't notice.

I've made a call to Mom to about my ankle. I tell her not to worry, but I knew it wouldn't work.

Tomorrow's another seminar day, but packed with extra cookies, I'm ready for Feast. Off, hobbling, go I!

On the way to enlightenment

"The frogs stay frogs, we're not going to change them into princes." ~ Lorena

Today is the first day of the new project Enrichment! The path to my office was blocked by boxes of files when I arrived. Lorena, Eva, and I gathered in Boss Michael's office soon after to complete the very first one together. We all initialed the file and did a round of golf-clapping once the save button was hit.

So far the process is slow as we try to figure out what to do (especially with our "frogs") and document the glitches along the way. The ocassional bonus is when we can finally get rid of a file. "Rawr!" Boss Michael ripped the binding off a report, "That felt good." I thought: It's not exactly tearing a phone book in half, but still impressive.

Only 9,000 more to go!

About a Boy

"Ugh, they're watching television, how is that quality time?"
Kathy replied, "That's what we're doing."
I weakly protested, "But we actually talk."

Alright, I stand corrected. Television can bring people together. Especially in the case of the two boys, in About a Boy. Was surprised that Kathy, Neil, and Michael have not seen the film - wasn't it a big release? I hadn't seen it either, and it in the end it won out over others with a major vote from Kathy for Hugh Grant (as Will).

Christine: Oh, no... it's just I thought you had hidden depths.
Will: No, no, you've always had that wrong about me. I really am this shallow.

It was a good book (by Nick Hornby, which we read for book club), as I remembered it... but somehow I completely forgot about Dead Duck Day! As the movie played out, I saw the scene that made me cry on reading (singing with eyes closed) done beautifully (though Kathy did have a point that it may have ruined a good song). There were moments that were painful (because they were so true), and moments that were baffling (Will's casual acceptance and almost revelry in his own empty life).

Will: I find the key is to think of a day as units of time, each unit consisting of no more than thirty minutes. Full hours can be a little bit intimidating and most activities take about half an hour. Taking a bath: one unit, watching countdown: one unit, web-based research: two units, exercising: three units, having my hair carefully disheveled: four units. It's amazing how the day fills up, and I often wonder, to be absolutely honest, if I'd ever have time for a job; how do people cram them in?

All in all a good movie (because people can change). We tried to diagnose Marcus's condition (aside from the distracting eyebrows). Erik was back in Calgary. We finished the apple pie from Pi Day.

Pretend to be Nice

I'm done PF1! Was only able to answer about 90% the questions... that would include the whole section where I just made-up stuff... Sniffling and sneezing was thankfully at a minimum, and brain entertained me as I struggled, the last hour had musical accompaniment in my head - Josie and the Pussycats' "Pretend to be Nice" on repeat. This part applied:

Why do you do what you do to me baby
You're shaking my confidence, driving me crazy

What I should have done was just leave NAIT after the exam and not check the computer. But I did. Now I know I cannot bask in the elation of being done: the next course starts this coming week with a seminar! I need to take a day off work to do it! And start getting ready! Ack!

To think a year ago I was on the way to New York. (Happy Anniversary, Brad and Dianna! Happy Birthday, Christiana! Happy "Man Day" to those who apply.)

O.k. I can allow myself to have fun the rest of this weekend. With my bag of edits, to Michael's to de-stress!

Life Learning from a Stapler

Kathy and Neil are engaged! Plans are being formed. So far, a Star Trek / Star Wars themed wedding has been suggested and turned down, as with one held at the Reuse Centre. A date has been set. On facebook I've added my "Yay!" to corsets (fashion before comfort indeed, but there's no formal dancing, right?).

I've been able to close the door on the office and just study away. Sadly, it's myself that distracts. I sniffle and eventually decide to take some medication. I was immensely happy to figure out how to load the big stapler and concluded: Life is like loading a stapler - you push pass the metal bar (things that look like obstacles) and and make it to the other side... wait is that a song?

Endoscopy

More words I have trouble translating:
- Anesthetic
- Polyp
- IV


I was surprised. I thought Mom was going in for another scan; we were sent to Day Surgery. A nurse put in an IV (second time’s the charm), and tried to get me to sign a form that said "all risks and alternatives” have been discussed with us. What were they talking about? Angela had made the appointment with Mom; did Mom decide again not to tell me, or did she forget?

The procedure required general anesthetic and thus there were risks. When I questioned the doctor, he basically said there were no other alternatives to see what was going on with her stomach.

As we waited, mom laid in bed and talked. She told me where the valuables are stashed and to be sure to send money to her mom in China if anything were to happen (she’s sure Dad wouldn’t). She lamented about the cousins in China: some were not making a lives for themselves, preferring instead to be lazy. (Lazy is a four letter word.) I told her I was lazy too.

She looked at me and assured me there’s no pressure in finishing my CGA. "Just look at auntie Connie, she’s still at it after all these years". I told her that I needed to finish, or I couldn't move on – Move on to what? – Other things I want to do, want to learn... – Like what? – Like dance and photography… like moving out (though I don't say this out loud). She told me she worries about me, about my future. I tell her I'm going to be fine. In my head, I rationalised: Maybe moving out wouldn’t be entirely selfish – She might actually worry less… though not likely.

An hour later (I have distractedly studied and explored), I was back in the waiting area watching Mom awake. She broke her 14 hour fast with water and then some crackers. We dressed, and got Dad to pick us up. I spend the rest of the day at home in case there are any complications and study.

By now, I can hear Mom yelling at Dad. It’s a silly welcoming sound, like when Kevin becomes troublesome again after a disturbing, illness induced, amount of quiet; it means she's better.

New Place

First post from the new location! After a flurry of emails, Helga came this morning with a trolly of her stuff. We dismantled my computer and carted it away with all my other stuff. I am now in a different office (vistors please go to reception!) with no partition, and feeling kind of exposed. Thankfully, there's no officemate either (Ky is away on user acceptance training), so I have a little bit of time to get used to things.

The wall did eventually have to come down. Here it is before I dismantled it:

It is all now in a box.
O.k. back to work / unpacking for me. It will be a short week with time off for studying for the National. Yikes! Only 6 days left! Will also have to take a pill - sick again. Ugh. But at least in my own space (a bit of a quarantine?) I'm not spreading that many germs.

More updates to come!

Christiana and Jenny from the Block

“Act all thongish even if you’re all granny cottonish.” – Tina, shoeboxblog.com

Pylons and baracades in the parking lot made me think twice: Did I have the right address? I called the number. Jenny answered, opened a side door and led me in... to a hallway that was concrete with partially filled buckets and piles of nails on the ground. I was shocked when she finally opened another door and it was beautiful (and complete) inside.

And there was Christiana in her quarter-century glory! Hugs all 'round. I caught up on dance gossip with her and Ryan as others showed up for her birthday and Jenny's housewarming. Though there were others, the majority were dieticians/foodies.

We munched on tasty snacks and sipped some wine.

Then there was an argument among the dieticians! Potato: Vegetable or Not? I didn't start it, but knew which side I stood on. The food guide (on the fridge, with its questionable illustrations, taken as evidence) seemed to imply something else. I wondered if the party would come to blows. Thankfully, all decided to agreed to disagree and I was allowed to stay.

Presents and cake followed, as well as a couple of shots (the drink kind).

I left early. Time to get hunker down and study.

Happy Birthday Christiana!

Polaroids and Paint

I was surprised. I thought leaving early from Aunt Linda's birthday dinner would be read as disrespectful and lead to accusations of not "giving Face" where it was due. Instead, Dad was o.k. with me skipping out to go the AGA's Polaroids: Attila Richard Lukacs and Michael Morris show opening. If he knew I had qualified for the PF1 National Exam (I found out on Wednesday) and that it was a week away, maybe he'd rather I was studying. But as it was, I was even given a lift.

Catherine met me at the entrance. We decided to view the other exhibit, Leaving Olympia: Unveiling the Idealized Nude, first. Photos and paintings of the human body filled the wall space, some were labelled "homoerotic" (I didn't get it). What fascinated me most was a 1 foot bronze sculpture of a woman that was so life-like it seemed it would at any moment, bored with all the staring, step off the pedestal. We looked closely and found textured skin that gathered at joints. Her eyes were a bit frightening: a step away they looked realistic, a step closer and you realise they are hollow, missing lenses (which when we thought about it, is what an eye looks like).

Finally to Polaroids. I had tried explaining to Kevin and Celina at dinner what polaroids were, and why they were fun (how the image would slowly form), and how I liked the way the looked (the faded colours hinting at times past, the white borders). The catalogue had said there were over 3,000 photos (taken by Lukacs, selected and assembled by Morris). I searched the different framed sets for repeating faces, for the people who where included in the paintings, and tattoos. After a while it became overwhelming.

Catherine became contemplative: Did all these people just sign up? Did they realise that their bodies, their images were no longer theirs? That they were being manipulated into the artist's statement? That decades later people would be looking at their faces wondering what it's supposed to mean?

I thought they must - Unless they're the ones saying yes or no to the photos and what they can be used for, they are an extension of the artist's work, a tool.

Now I wonder if I missed her point entirely.

Crash and Tribble

"Only those with names that do not start with J, need apply". ~ Beth, with a good suggestion to keep things straight

Erik attempted to crash Movie Night. There is the big question of whether one can crash a party at one's own house (especially when one is the guest of honour)... but after being officially labelled a squatter, I feel I have some rights (a strange kind of illegitimate-legitimacy). Anyway, our Jeeves and Wooster mini marathon was thus interupted ("... Forty-seven ginger-headed sailors...") with good news: Erik's Dad is doing much better.

We celebrate with hugs, a little more chocolate, and a demonstration of the cackling Tribble (not yet reproduced despite plenty of food available in close proximity), the latest addition to Erik's growing household.

At work I continue to keep my head down and work away at the pile. There's still no word of exactly when I am to move (I've stopped packing) or when I am to start on the new conversion project.

Brains, Brawn, and Beauty

or _David's (mostly female, mostly dance) Crew_

Despite taking suggestions for over week on how to do a good move, David's "little move" (only 8 blocks), still proved that Rem and Steph win at moving.

I had not met Jess ("Cookie Monster"), Juanita, Marrissa, Amanda, and Eileen before, but we quickly bonded as David's Crew. An "Ode to Packing Tape" was recited when the item (along with tape gun) was thankfully found. With it we were able in increase our packing speed and efficiency many fold. So zealous was our packing and moving that my winter coat, put down only minutes before, was also packed away.

Building management had triple booked the moving elevator. We side stepped other movers' treasures on the main floor and loaded a big moving van, the trunks, and back seats of all the vehicles. When it wasn't our turn to use the elevator we also took to the stairs. I'm pretty sure we didn't inadvertently acquire anything new for David.

At his new building we unloaded all the vehicles' contents (much faster this way around), and in no time the entire crew (plus an elevator full of stuff) made the final trip. Total time: 3 hours.

Pots of water were boiled, glasses and snacks searched for, a well earned tea break was taken. We surveyed David's new space: A spectacular view, lots and lots of space, a cute chandelier in the dining area, golden wall paper in the foyer, and little owl-shaped airfreshener and an electric tie rack in the closet.

(Left: You dare mock the flute? En garde! Face the wrath of the flute cleaner!)

It seemed like everyone one had to go except for me. I stuck around to help with unpacking and started a "David Needs" list (1 dishwash rack, 1 clock that doesn't tick, 1 utensil rack to fit in the drawer...).

David and I go back to the old apartment to round up his old roommates for dinner. What we found: His old roommates with more of David's stuff. Ack! Where had it been all hiding? Well, we still had Dad's car, so we loaded that up for another trip.

Finally dinner - we picked up pizza at what David considers one of the best in town. Its owners are Russian, and on any given day (including our visit) there would be people sitting and watching foreign programs on a black and white television, sipping amber liquids in small glasses.

We eat at the old apartment with the old roommates (a young married couple). One was a teacher, the other a civil engineer. One loved olives as much as (more than?) I did, but was willing to share the bulk jar (the other didn't, so that meant I didn't have to). The civil engineer also proved to know more about taxes and finance than myself (for him it was fun), and was slowly colouring in an Alberta road map - one day he will have travelled all of them.

I had to laugh when getting ready to go, David fished out a whole bag of shoes (he definitely owns more pairs than me) and other stuff for the final, final trip of that day.

I had worn my Superman t-shirt to be ironic, but you know, I felt pretty super (and tired) by the end of it all. I definitely have more tips for my (eventual) move.

A Really Big Shoe

and a visit to WEM
The sun was shining and I didn't even feel the need to button my jacket. It was the last day of February, but the weather spurred on my dreams of spring.

The bus took me past the AGA (at this point of contruction looking a lot like a coiled chameleon), and dropped me off just across the street from my destination, the Royal Alberta Museum. Inside, I met up with Kirsten and Michael, in time to take advantage of their weekend morning (9 - 11 a.m.) half price admission special.

Together, we ventured to the exhibit Heights of Fashion: A History of the Elevated Foot. In short: Shoes! I was totally delighted - but Kirsten might have been even happier.

These are not my found shoes. I was constrained by space and lighting (to limit photo-damage), but I still had a lot of fun photographing these shoes, and learning about the history and incarnations of the high-heel along the way.

Some were very beautiful to look at, and some were ridiculous (yes, rock star wear, and the 80s). But I think what amused me most were the shoes that looked like sculptures that would (could?) never be worn (e.g. the Absolute Vodka shoe [above left] and the Dragon shoe [above right]). But it became a difficult to question and compare believability and authenticity (actual wearability) of these awesome novelty designs to others as we moved back in time to see designs from centuries ago (e.g. "Rhino" shoe - a C15 stilted clog [below left] or Eastern designs [right}).

There were even shoes for shoes! In order to prevent the heel from sinking (and getting stuck) into garbage and other refuse (see right) a mid-C18 shoe came with clogs that "create[d] a flat surface between the sole and high heel", creating essentially a platform type shoe. This clog was made to match the original shoe (pretty patterns and all) and was "secured to iacrossed the nstep with a bow of complementary colour." Now what would protect the pretty clog?

Though alluring, (more contempory and classic designs were pleasing to the eye, and slightly more comfortable looking) I still couldn't see myself wearing them.

I was due home for lunch, so I left Michael and Kirsten to continue exploring the museum.

Hours later, we meet up again, this time with Beth too, at WEM. Kirsten had said she was inspired to buy red shoes, but we didn't find the right pair. Instead in our wanderings, us girls each bought a sale scarf. The big surprise was that among all of us, the big purchase was made by Michael - a charcoal grey sports jacket.

Unable to agree on dinner, we split up. Beth directed me with moves worthy of an airport ground control crew (sans glowing baton) out of the tight parking spot in the WEM parking lot (I do hate parking), and then we headed home.

(Right: My sale scarf, reminiscent of a "rat's nest", photograped in a rosette / bellybutton shape. )