We were so worried there would be nothing for James to eat, we've put in so much time arranging for formula, and for me to keep pumping so I would I have a supply... We never considered the other side of things: what happens if my body produces the milk, but James doesn't want to eat it?
Again, thinking the latter, engorgement seemed unlikely, but here it is. The pamphlet said if not properly dealt with it could lead to mastitis and then an infection. The other likely potential was that without expressing the milk, my supply would dry up... Before the pain, I thought I could wait until the weekend to find a pump, but now... how do I get one once I leave the hospital? Also, it's weeks before my appointment with the lactation consultant.
Must plan and figure things out:
1. I must pump so I'm not engorged.
2. I need a way to store the milk, since James won't be able to eat all of it and I don't want it to go bad.
3. I need to get a pump for home... can Dad (or Prab) take me while Mom and Paul take care of James?
I go through the plan with Nurse Annie - she said it sounded reasonable and that she can help with storing the milk. Yes! So relieved.
I still worry though: Two documented observable cases of me melting down -- enough for them to think I'm an unfit mother? Can they take him away from me? I'm not sure I am fit -- have to make sure I am.
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